Oh man one time when I was 15 and going for a walk some lady was out in her front lawn petting a fucking diamond python that she had as a pet. She called me over and I knew right off she was fucking plastered. I mean she was slurring real bad. She told me I was a pretty girl and that I should pet her snake. I’m a guy. 🐍🐍🐍 but I decide, why not what do I have to lose? I pet the thing and I notice it has really pretty eyes. It sniffs me, which was adorable. Then this lady invites me into her appartment. I was super uncomfortable but I obliged. Come to find out, this lady is the mother of a kid I went to school with. Talk about awkward. So yeah she asks her son to grab her another beer and then she picks up a lighter to smoke a cig after putting her snake in its home. The lighter zapped her because it was a prank lighter so she lights her cigarette on the toaster.