(shamelessly stolen from r/indianapolis )

How to Meet People After College 101

Hey all, I feel like I’ve seen a decent number of posts/comments in this sub about people struggling to meet other people after college. I graduated from college in the northeast 3 years ago and thought I would share some advice from personal experience coming here with no friends.

The first step is having the right mindset, meeting people after college is definitely more difficult than in college. People blame Indianapolis because everyone has college friends, but this is true for any city. I have friends that have flourished and floundered socially post college based upon how much effort they are willing to put in. You have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and be slightly more extraverted than you would normally be.

\——————————————————————————-

What I have observed and experienced that is **NOT** a good approach to meeting new people/making friends:

\- *Meeting people at bars/clubs:* Everyone goes to bars with their friends, looking to hangout with their friends or looking to meet someone for a hookup/romantic interest. I have never casually met someone at a bar and become friends with them.

\- *Meeting people at music festivals:* don’t know anyone who has had success with this approach, its too loud and people just go with their friends.

\- *Trying to make close friends online:* Being in person is the #1 way to meet people. Use the internet as an avenue to meet up with people in person. Don’t solely talk to people online expecting to become close friends. I’ve also realized people tend to be way more sociable in person than online.

\- *Having a personality type that revolves around drinking/smoking weed/ being a frat bro/playing video games:* This worked in college, but post college I find people like this difficult to have a conversation with. Talking about smoking weed or how many parties they threw in college 90% of the time loses its flair when you are 23+ years old. Also, try to avoid having entire conversations about yourself. Having a multi dimensional personality makes it way easier to have a convo.

\- *Being ageist:* Some of the funniest/nicest people I know are in their 30s-40s and love playing sports with them. I know people who can be turned off by hanging out with people older than them but give it a chance and don’t be a dick about it.

\- *Bringing up controversial topics:* Indy is a very politically diverse city, and regularly talking about politics or topics that potentially piss people off is a losing card 90% of the time. Definitely avoid when trying to meet people, and leave it for when you get to know them better.

\———————————————————————————

How I have made friends or have seen others make friends around the city:

\- *Signing up for social activities that put you in groups of 3-8 people*: Any kind of sport/hobby or league you may be interested in, sign up! CCA sports is a great area to do this, because you get people in an environment where people are looking to meet other people. I’ve always been more of a sports guy but I’m sure board/card games are a great avenue as well. I think anything you could potentially be interested in, go for it. This is the entry of initially meeting people

\- *Developing a routine:* Doing any routine that gets you out of the apartment and seeing other people on a daily basis is a great way to become a familiar face. Go on a walk around lunch time, or go to the gym around the same time. Smile at people when they look at you. You become familiar to each other. I have not met any great friends this way but definitely have people I will chat with from time to time that I see regularly.

\-*Being genuinely interested in other people:* Working to get to know people, and asking questions about their lives is a key ingredient in developing friendships. I started working harder to remember peoples names and smile when I see them, and its almost like a magic formula for getting people to talk to you. It sounds so simple, but if you are interested in other people, other people will be interested in you.

\-*Being proactive:* Be outgoing about inviting the people you meet in leagues/activities out for drinks or do things outside of the original activity. Get people’s numbers and invite them all out. I find a lot of people in these groups are just waiting for others to take initiatives on these type of activities but are happy to comply when someone does.

\-*Location, location, location:* It helps a ton being in a location where you are around younger people in similar situations as you. Downtown Indy and Broad Ripple seem to be prime locations for this.

\—————————————————————————————–

So this is my long winded 2 cents, thought I would try to help out my fellow Indy locals in getting out and meeting people. Best of luck to all of you!!