They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. All of this weight is wasted because sunfish is barely even edible. Predators literally just take a bite and finds out that it isn’t worth it and go find something else to eat. **Dolphins use their large flat bodies as fucking frisbees**. Talking about flat bodies, Sunfish very often lay on its side on the surface of water, where they **get stuck for probaly the rest of their miserable, brainless lives**. Some scientists believe that they can absorb sunlight like fucking plants, because **no one fucking knows how they get enough energy to support their fat bodies** anyway. Sunfish primarily eat jellyfish, because a brain dead animal as the Sunfish is can only eat an fucking animal which don’t even have a fucking brain and that theres a chance that it will not wander off the Sunfish’s mouth, which by the way, stays fucking open for the entire lifespan of the jellyfish because he literally is unable to close as **his fucking jaw is FUSED to his fucking skull**, and as such he’s forced to eat brainless animals that can’t think of wandering off his fucking mouth. **Their brains are the size of a fucking nut, and worst of all: it’s fucking flat**. You know how brains have wrinkles to increase the surface area and thus the processing power? Sunfish have none of that. You now might be asking “How the fuck are these creatures not extinct yet?”, and the answer to that is that he’s so fucking brain dead that he doesn’t know that he shouldn’t exist and fucking **releases 300 millions eggs at each ovulation**, which by the law of statistics, at least one will get to adulthood and keep on going with the horrible mistake the creation of Sunfish was. Thanks for coming to my TED talk