here i sit, open hearted

Came to shit, but only farted

then one day, I took a chance

Tried to fart, but shit my pants

my face wrinkles in despair

as i take a glance in my pants

and smelt the unfresh air

I look around in horror and fear

down my face falls a single tear

the egg i ate earlier that day digested

made my behind not California regulated

I cried and cried from this single error

as it made my ass look like an act of terror

*“why did you do this to me“ i replied to god,

hoping on act of mercy

but the authorities already there for a greater good

bringing that rectum back, as its act of cruelty

I heard the sirens as they wailed and wailed

I screamed “IT WON’T WORK” for my ass had failed

The smell of sulfur filled the air,

Everyone turned their face with shock and despair

this mortal life, it is not fair

I screamed at God, “DO YOU NOT CARE?!”

Here I sit, cheeks a-flexin. Trying to make another Texan

My reputation wailed, I tried to bail

But my stupid fucking ass had already failed

Off my chances they had sailed

Now my ass is getting railed

– the story end of a man with not california regulated alfter

as he began to faint