Olive Garden is absolute liquified dog shit. First off, the only reason Olive Garden’s main attraction is their bread sticks is the fact that their menu is about as appetizing as rubber asshole served in a quasi-fancy setting. Olive Garden’s food is about as Italian as eating Cheerios with chop sticks is Chinese. The food there is inspired by Italian cuisine but is executed by chefs who have the same expertise as a malfunctioning microwave. Have you ever had their 6oz Sirloin with Alfredo? It’s literally like biting into a hockey puck. The steak is straight up ass, like they shot the cow and then fucked the meat to tenderize it except the guy fucking the meat had such a small dick it didn’t do anything. It’s fucking RAW. I could chase a cow down in a field armed only with a piece of REBAR and I could get a better meal than that. The only thing they can get right is the salad and breadsticks and that’s because it’s easier to drown lettuce to death in a vat of shitalian dressing and dump a tankard of sodium onto baked bread than it is to cook actual food. And how fucking expensive is that shit? I’m sick of paying for thick ass napkins and fancy ambiance when the only surrounding I’ll have later is my own bathroom, as I’m shitting out that rubber atrocity they call steak. I could eat my firstborn child fresh out of the womb and it would be better and more edible than their SHIT ASS FOOD.




Fuck Olive Garden.