In Logic’s song “Homicide,” featuring Eminem, he states that he “wipes his ass with 6 mil.” Assuming he is referencing US dollars, I believe that he takes the largest shits in the universe. So, let’s break this down. One US dollar is 6.14 inches in length and 2.61 inches in width, which are the dimension that we are concerned with here. That being said, if he were to wipe his ass with 6 million one dollar bills, that means he’d need a total surface area of 667,725 square feet to properly clean his ass. That’s about the size of 248.5 average american homes. Now let’s look at this a little differently. If we were to put every dollar bill that Eminem wiped his ass with in a straight line, it would be 3,070,000 feet long, or 581.4 miles in length. This means that Eminem could scoot from Washington D.C. to Toronto, Canada, continuously wiping his ass, and still need to go another 100 miles before his asshole is clean. So exactly how big would his shit be? To figure this out, we need to make some assumptions. Let’s base it off of the average human shit, which weighs approximately 1 pound. The average person uses about 20 squares of toilet paper per shit, which is 80 inches in length based on the dimensions of American toilet paper squares. Assuming that the size of one’s poop is directly proportional to the amount of toilet paper they use, that puts Eminem’s shit at about 460,546 times larger than an average person’s. That means his shits weigh 460,546 pounds, which is as much as 38.4 full grown African elephants. So how big would that be? Human feces has a density of about 66.17 pounds per cubic foot, on average. This means that his shit must be 6,960 cubic feet. For perspective, that is 870 bathtubs full of shit, and if Eminem were to shit in a 1 cubic foot box and stack them, he would fill enough to be 2.56 times taller than the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building. If his shit was to be 1 inch in width and 1 inch in depth, it would be 1,002,240 feet in length, or the height of 34.53 Mount Everest’s stacked on top of each other. If that isn’t the largest shit in the universe, then we truly are living in a simulation.