1. its not even the hottest planet. venus is. how pathetic of a fucking planet do you have to be to be the closest to the sun and still not the hottest. mercury is fucking awful.
2. no atmosphere! WHAT FUCKING PLANET DOESN’T HAVE AN ATMOSPHERE? THE ANSWER IS NONE, EVEN FUCKING PROBLEM CHILD PLUTO HAD AN ATMOSTPHERE. GOD DAMNIT, MERCURY, HOW FUCKING PATHETIC DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO THE POINT WHERE THE PROBLEM CHILD OF THE SOLAR SYSTEM IS BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY CONCIEVABLE WAY?! PLUTO WAS HALF YOUR FUCKING SIZE AND STILL HAD AN ATMOSPHERE, STUPID FUCKIGN FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GARBAGE PLANET.
3. the roman god you’re named after is the god of tricksters and thieves, because you fucking stole the planet slot from pluto.
4. wikipedia LITERALLY lists you as an inferior planet. this measn you are OBJECTIVELY worse than any other planet. stupid fucking dwarf planet…. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferior_and_superior_planets](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inferior_and_superior_planets)
5. your axis tilt is the smallest of all planets. if you were a human you’d probably have a 0.3 inch dick and say it’s average.
6. the element named after you may have been useful in the past, but now its fucking garbage and just wastes a slot in the periodic table, the toxic piece of shit. I can see why it was named after you, shitworld.
7. another on the element mercury, the chemical symbol is Hg, which stems from “Hi, i’m a fucking shit-ass awful element named after the worst planet in the solar system, and i am gay”
8. Sailor Mercury is the worst Sailor Soldier, because she was named after the worst planet. No wonder her fucking parents divorced, I wouldn’t want full custody of her either.
9. No moons even want to orbit the shitty piece of shit garbage planet.
10. 3:2 spin orbit resonance? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! 1.5 spins per revolution? fucking hell, couldn’t even afford to be consistent I see. WHAT PLANET CAN’T EVEN GO A FULL NUMBER OF SPINS PER REVOLUTION? FUCKING PATHETIC!
11. mercury is also known as quicksilver, and quicksilver fucking died in age of ultron. NO ONE DIES IN MARVEL MOVIES, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN MANAGE?!
12. looks like a fucking ripoff death star, but the death star is more fucking beneficial to the solar system than this fucking space rock.
13. Studies have shown that you’ve been geologically inactive for billions of fucking years, while in those years EARTH DEVELOPED LIFE ADVANCED ENOUGH TO REALIZE HOW SHIT OF A PLANET YOU ARE!
14. TEMPERATURE IS INCONSISTENT AS HELL. YOu”RE THE CLOSEST FUCKING PLANET TO THE SUN, HOW CAN YOU BE FUCKIG – 280F?!

In conclusion, Mercury is by far the worst planet in the solar system. Glory to Venus, Pluto did nothing wrong.