Whenever I see Superman I feel like putting my hand in his underwear

Especially in the [Superman Returns poster](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNzY2ZDQ2MTctYzlhOC00MWJhLTgxMmItMDgzNDQwMDdhOWI2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjc1NTYyMjg@._V1_.jpg). Not to like, jerk him off or something. Just putting my hand in it and do nothing, other than probably looking at him awkwardly while he wonders why I’m doing this.

This is the reason why I find DCEU Superman mildly infuriating. They completely ruined his character. Where’s the beautiful red underwear, Henry? Where am I supposed to put my hand?