“Enough of the “Whale Fucking is non-consensual” bullshit. A Humpback Whale weighs 70,000 pounds, is fifty feet long, can dive more than a quarter mile and can crush ships with a single swipe of its tail. If a human manages to fuck one, you damn well better believe it’s consensual”

“Some call me “Whale Fucker”. Alright. There’s a private club of a few dozen Maori men and one butch woman – that meet in Molokai each year to fuck a whale. True. Men on padeleboards herd the whale while one tries to fuck it. Wouldn’t let me in the club. Tried it alone. Epic fail.”

“Please people . . This is NOT an acceptable way to fuck a whale. Those who indulge in compassionate whale fucking do so while the whale is resting on the surface, diving underneath to perform the deed.”