Okay. So, I’ve been seeing this copypasta floating around about wanting to “bang the Animal Crossing raccoon”, and frankly- I think this is disgusting. First of all, his name isn’t “the Animal Crossing raccoon”, it’s Tom Nook. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person, and you would all do well to refer to him as such. If you don’t even know his name, than you have no right wanted to have sex with him! Secondly, wanting to bang him is just gross. Saying that you want to bang Tom Nook is objectifying him, and it is not okay. If you’ve ever wanted to bang Tom Nook, you should be disgusted with yourself. Unlike you cretins, I however- respect him. Sure, it’s possible I may consider him to be rather bangable, but I wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Tom Nook is a fucking king, and deserves to be treated as such. I DO NOT want to bang “The Animal Crossing raccoon”. I want to hug him. I want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with Tom Nook. I want to wake up every morning in bed, with him lying peacefully next to me as the morning sun shines in through the window. I want to make him breakfast every morning, and tend to his every need. I want him to feel like he is truly loved, (because he is). I want him to be by my side for my whole life, because I know that he is the perfect man for me, and I am perfect for him. I want to be to be with him every day, just so I can tell him how much I fucking love him. I want him to know how much I adore everything amazing personality, his incredible fashion sense, his extremely impressive caretaking abilities, and his absolutely beautiful head to body ratio, and his beautiful, beautiful eyes. However, if I were to ever have sex with Tom Nook, I wouldn’t simply be “banging” him. If Tom Nook were to ever consent to me having sexual intercourse with him, it would be tender and loving and passionate. As we make love, I’d slowly and gently caress his soft, brown fur as I slowly but deliberately ride his big tanuki schlong. I would make his pleasure my utmost priority, with my own being secondary. But if he was willing, than oh god. What I wouldn’t give to feel his adorable little paws running up and down the length of my body. I just wanna pet every inch of his body, and give him scritches on his tummy so he does that thing that raccoons do where their legs spaz out. That’d just be so fucking hot. I’d probably end up cumming all over him, so it gets in his fur. But goddamn. I love that fur so much, that I’d personally lick off every last drop of cum, just to I have another opportunity to get as close to his gorgeous fur as possible. But if you just want to bang him, than you are a disgusting degenerate, and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of tartarus. But Redd on the other hand. Now he’s somebody that I’d wanna bang.