Oh, but I’m already love with you, and it’s all your fault! I want to bring you home after a nice, mutual outing, you leaning your head into my shoulder as you laugh and walk home with me. Then we go back to my place, mama sees me with a girl as beautiful and as sweet as you and just lets me have it, we go in my room, and you push me on my bed. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I say. “Are you sure you want to do this? I was just thinking we would watch some funny YouTube clips (lol)!” “If I wanted to laugh, I’d be fucking my ex right now. \*Begins the slow process of seduction.\*” I stop you and say, “I just want to know you’re in it for the right reasons. Ever since I got such a nice body by going to the gym all the time and benching in the top .001% of all men in the America, girls just fuck me and don’t want anything deeper than that. You’re more than that, right?”

Then you stop and have a straight face wind over your face as you say, “Oh my god… I’ve never even considered a guy caring about me like that… But I was willing to have sex with you already so you wouldn’t say that just so I would have sex with you… You really do care about me. You really do. And I believe you.” Then you fall to my stomach and start hugging me. “Yeah, I do. I really do. I know I’m only 22 years old, fuck if I know anything about love. But there’s something about you… that doesn’t make me just want to sleep you. You make me feel. You make me special. You make me happy. You make me everything.” “Oh… my god!” And you fall down further on my stomach and hug me even more, and I just whisper, “Shhh, it’s okay… Everything’s okay now. Everything… is… okay.” And then I love you. Forever. For the rest of my goddamn fucking life. And you believe me. Because you do.