Look, let me tell you something. One day I was minding my own business, enjoying my beautiful lawn, when a group of little shits suddenly showed up and started running around naked. I told them to get the fuck off my property, but they just laughed at me and kept going. So you know what I did? I went inside and grabbed my shotgun. I fired a warning shot in the air and told them to leave, but they still didn’t listen. So I did what any reasonable person would do – I took aim and fired.

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The little fuckers scattered like ants, screaming and crying. I didn’t care. I was sick and tired of people disrespecting me and my property. But apparently, society doesn’t take kindly to old men shooting at children. So they threw my ass in jail. But you know what? I’d do it all over again if I had to. Those little shits had it coming.

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And let me tell you, jail was no picnic. But you know what? I didn’t give a fuck. I stood my ground and refused to apologize for defending my property. The other inmates would sometimes make fun of me, call me “the naked kid killer” or some shit like that. But I didn’t care. I knew I was in the right.

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Eventually, my lawyer managed to get me out on bail. But the legal system is rigged against people like me. I was sentenced to community service and ordered to pay a fine. But I refused to do either. I told them to shove it up their asses. They wanted to punish me for defending myself and my property? Fine. But I wasn’t going to make it easy for them.

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So I went back to my home, my beautiful lawn, and waited. And you know what? No one dared to cross me again. They knew better. They knew what would happen if they did. And so, I was left alone to enjoy my little piece of heaven on earth, with no pesky children ruining it for me.

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In conclusion, if you value your life and your freedom, you better stay the fuck off my lawn.