My name is Dr. Dexter Scott. I’m going to share a story about my own addiction to technology. Almost ruined my life, in all seriousness.

I’ll never forget that breezy, perfect day just at the start of the summer. And I was to be married to my high-school sweetheart, Dr. Mary Jo Simmons. It was also the year I got my first smartphone. Mary Jo was truly my better half.

However, on our wedding day, I get a very important call regarding the patent I was working on. The fools at the U.S. government
denied my patent. This patent would create a symbiotic relationship between humans and technology, instead of this bluescreen hellscape we live in.

And Mary Jo finally burst through my door in her wedding dress and begged me to turn off the phone. And then I did something I would always regret. I turned and yelled at Mary Jo… “Get out of here, you ignorant child! I’m on the phone and a laptop! Can’t you see this is bigger than us?”

We broke up. She married my rival, Professor Arthur Goodthought. And I had to start over without my patents or precious Mary Jo. Now I’ve learned that the best way to use technology…

…is to become the technology. Behold, I am the Megabyte, and I control all the technology in this room! Resistance is futile. Another thing you should always, always do… …is fear me!

Fear me.

Paying more attention to your phone than a fellow human is… …completely pointless! Now there will only be technology like myself, shutting down Earth lights in three, two, one.

Aah! Your firewalls are too strong! My mainframe is getting haunted! You haven’t seen the last of me, humans! The Megabyte will interface with your children and your children’s children.

Thank you for your time. My mother is here to pick me up.