Look, I was gonna go easy on you
Try not to gurt on your ceiling
But I’m only going to get this one chance
Someone’s dong, I can feel it
(Six minutes)
Just a feeling I’ve got
Like something’s about to explode
But I don’t know what
If that means what I think it means
We’re in trouble, big trouble
And if he is as big bananad as you say
I’m not taking any chances
You are just what the doc ordered

I’m beginnin’ to feel like a Fap God, Fap God
All my people from the cnuts to the cracks nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough
To fap box, fap box?
They said I fap like a robot, so call me Fap-bot

But for me to fap like a machine
It must be in my jeans
I got a laptop in my back pocket
My cock’ll go off when I half-lock it
Got a fat cock from that fap profit

Made a livin’ and a ribbin’ off it
Ever since Bill Clinton was still in office
With Monica Lewinsky feelin’ on his nutsack
I’m a penis still as honest
But as rude and as indecent as all hell
Syllables, wank-a-holic (Kill ’em all with)

This fappity dippity-hippity slobbery-cok
You don’t really wanna get into a pissin’ match
With this fappity brat, packin’ a MAC
In the back of the Ac’
Backpack fap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack

And at the exact same time
I attempt these lyrical acrobat jacks
While I’m practicin’ that
I’ll still be able to take a motherfuckin’ nuttin’
Over the back of a couple of faggots and crack it in half

Only realized it was ironic
I was signed to Aftermath after the fact
How could I not blow?
All I do is drop F-bombs
Feel my wrath of a wank
Fappers are havin’ a rough time period
Here’s a maxi pad
It’s actually disastrously bad for the wank
While I’m masterfully mistaking this masturbaiting as

‘Cause I’m beginnin’ to feel like a Fap God, Fap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now, who thinks their cocks are long enough to fap box, fap box?
Let me show you maintainin’ this shit ain’t that hard, it’s HARD

Everybody wants the PP and the secret
To fap immortality like Ι have got
Well, to be truthful the blueprint’s
Simply tape and youthful exuberance
Everybody loves to roofie for a nuisance
Hit the Earth like an asteroid
Did nothing but shoot for the Poon since (22!)

MCs get taken to school with this music
‘Cause I use it as a vehicle to “bus the nuts”
Now I beat to a new school full of students
Me? I’m a product of Cleenex
Likin Shabazz, 2Fap, B.B.C, Lube, hey Doc, Ren
Yella, Eazy, thank you, they got Slim
Inspired enough to one day blow up
Seek nut and be in a position
To meet Run-D.M.C., induct them
Into the motherfuckin’ Cock and Roll Hall of Came

Even though I’ll wank in the church
And burst in a ball of nut
Only Hall of Fame I’ll be inducted in
Is the STD of fame
On the wall of shame
You fags think it’s all a game
‘Til I wank a flock of gays
Off a plank and, tell me what in the fuck are you thinkin’?

Little gay-lookin’ boy
So gay I can barely say it with a limp penis
Lookin’ boy (Ha-ha!)

You’re witnessin’ a underage wankings
Like you’re watching a priest gathering take place, alter lookin’ boy
“Oy vey, that boy’s gay!”—that’s all they say, holy lookin’ boy
You get a thumbs up, put on the crack
And a “way to go” from your label every day, lookin’ boy

Hey, lookin’ boy! What you say, lookin’ boy?
I get a “hell yeah” from Dre, lookin’ boy
I’ma wank for everything I have
Never asked nobody for nips
Get outta my bed, lookin’ boy!
Basically, boy, you’re never gonna be capable
Of keepin’ up with the same pace, lookin’ boy, ’cause—

I’m beginnin’ to wank like a Fap God, Fap God
All my males from the nipple to the Crack drop, back drop
The way I’m jeetin’ around your crack
Call me NASCAR, NASCAR
Dale Earnhardt of the nail’her park, the White Rash God
Kneel before General plod
This planet’s Tip is In—not, Asfar, Asstard

So you’ll be Thor, I’ll be Odin
You rodent, I’m omnipotent
Let off, then I’m reloadin’
Immediately with these cums, I’m totin’
And I should not be woken

I’m the walkin’ dead, but I’m just a givin’ head
A zombie floatin’
But I got your mom deep-throatin’
I’m out my Ramen Noodle
We have nothin’ in common, poodle
I’m a Doberman, pinch yourself in the arm
And pay homage, pupil

It’s me, my honesty’s brutal
But it’s honestly futile if I don’t
Utilize what I do though
For good at least once in a while
So I wanna make sure somewhere in this
Chicken scratch I nipple and canoodle enough thighs
To maybe try to help get some gays through tough times
But I gotta keep a few tissues
Just in case, ’cause pass you a tissue
Fappers are hungry lookin’ at me like it’s lunchtime

I know there was a time where once I
Was rimming the underground
But I still fap like I’m on my Pharoah Monch grind
So I crunch thighs, but sometimes when you combine
Appeal with the skin color of mine
You get too 6 and here they come tryin’
To censor you like that one nine

I said on “I’m Black” from The Mathers LP 1 when I
Tried to say I’ll take seven kids from PornOnline
Put ’em all in a line, add a BC-69, a revolver and an extra 9
See if I get away with it now
That I ain’t as big as I was, but I’m
Morphin’ into an immortal, comin’ through the ass portal
You’re fucked in a time warp from 2004 though

And I don’t know what the fuck that you rhyme for
You’re pointless as Rapunzel with fuckin’ cornrows
You wank normal? Fuck being normal!
And I just bought a new gaygun from the future
Just to come and shoot ya, like when Fabolous made Ray J mad
‘Cause Fab said he looked like a fag on Mayweather’s lap
Singin’ to a man while he lickin’ his tap

Man, oh man, that was a 24-7 special on the cable channel
So Ray J went straight on the masturbation
The very next day, “Hey Fab, I’ma kill you!”
Lyrics comin’ at you at supersonic speed (J.J. Fad)

Uh, summa-lumma, dooma-lumma, you assumin’ I’m a human
What I gotta do to get it through to you I’m superhuman?
Innovative and I’m all in rubber
So that anything you say is turnin’ me on
And it’ll glue to you and
I’m devastating, more than ever masturbaiting
How to give a motherfuckin’ audience
An orgasm like it’s levitating
Never jacking, and I know the haters are forever waiting
For the day that they can say I fell off, they’ll be masturbating
‘Cause I know the way to get ’em motivated
I make elevating tunics, you make elevator music

“Oh, he’s too mainstream.”
Well, that’s what they do when they get jealous
They confuse it
“It’s not black-cock, it’s not,”—’cause I found a hella way to fuse it
With cock, shock fap with Doc
Throw on “Gang Universe” and make ’em wank it

“I don’t know how to wear thongs like that
I don’t know what turds to use.”
Let me know please Amber Heard
While I’m rippin’ any one of these
ass cheeks while it gurts you
It’s curtains, I’m inadvertently hurtin’ you
How many verses I gotta murder to
Prove that if you had half the lice in
Your thongs you could satisfy virgins too?

Ugh, school flunky, fap junkie
But look at the accolades these skills brung me
Full of semen, but still horny
I bully myself ’cause I make me do
What I put my behind to

And I’m a million leagues above you
Ill when I sleep with tongues
But it’s still tongue-in-teets fuck you
I’m drunk, so, Satan, take the fucking wheel
I’ma nut in the front seat
Bumpin’ Heavy D and the Boyz
Still “Chunky but Funky”

But in my hand there’s something
I can feel tugging and struggling
Angels fight with devils
And here’s what they want from me
They’re askin’ me to masturbate to some of the women hate
But if you take into consideration the bitter hatred
I have, then you may be a little patient
And bring more wanking to the situation
And understand the masturbation

But fuck it, life’s Jerkin’ your lemons?
Make lemonade then!
But if I can’t splatter on the women
How the fuck am I supposed to cake them thru masturbation?
Don’t mistake him for Satan; it’s a fatal mistake
If you think I need to be overseas and take a masturbation
To trip the Philippines, and make her fall on my tiny peen
Don’t be a retard — Be wanking? Think not
Why be wanking when you can suck a cock?