Ever since I was a kid, I have always wanted to be a woman. I wanted to indulge myself in the sexual pleasures of being a woman, but at the same time, not cut off my dick. To satisfy my needs, I began experimenting. When I was in 7th grade, I took a Ticonderoga #2 and placed it at the tip of my butt hole. With the rubber eraser facing in first, I slowly pushed it in, and repeated to push it in and out for a few minutes. By 10th grade I upgraded to a Colgate Crystal Clear toothpaste tube. It only hurt a little, but I was able to get it in 90 percent of the way. When I was in college, I took my roommates weed Bong and shoved it up way too far. I had to go to the hospital, get it pumped out, and get stitches in my intestines. When I was 35, my wife caught me with a man’s dick in my butt. Im not gay or anything, we both said no homo. It was all just for science. She didn’t understand it, and we got divorced the next day. At the conclusion of my research, I can confidently say that I have been sexually satisfied.