The other day I was grocery shopping with my wife and infant son, when Brie Larson came around the corner. She walked up to me, and before I could say anything she punched me repeatedly in the genitals. As I lay on the ground in agony, she bent over and whispered “Nobody will ever believe you”. Then she lifted my baby boy out of the shopping cart, threw him into her own cart (which was filled with other baby boys), and put a baby girl into his place. She then slapped a “Fuck White Men” sticker on my forehead, winked at my wife, and ran away laughing.