#Warning regarding Ring Fit Adventure: for the love of all that is holy, wear pants when playing!


Just got done with my first play session of Ring Fit Adventure, and oh boy am I hurting… But not in the way you think.

I bought the game at Target today and was excited to play. I’m a 30 year old male and out of shape. I do some light lifting, but no cardio. Upon starting the game, I was immediately impressed. The way the Joycon is able to track the position of the Ring Con is very cool and reminiscent of my experiences in VR with the HTC Vive controllers.

See, I live alone. In playing, I decided to not wear a shirt or pants given that I was probably going to sweat. This was a mistake.

I made it through the first three stages of the first level. Already, my thighs were KILLING me from the squats and my arms were hurting from the overhead presses.

And then I came face to face with the first boss of the game: a giant body building shadow dragon.

See, when monsters or bosses attack you, you have to do an Ab Press. You press the ring against your abs with your hands and it generates a shield in game.

When the boss went to attack me, I tried to Ab Press. What I didn’t realize was that my bare stomach was slick with sweat…

The freaking compressed Ring Con slipped down my abs and decompressed right into my balls. I screamed in pain and right in time the giant shadow dragon slammed a meaty fist into my character and I lost half my health as the Joycon strapped to my thigh vibrated and my crotch ached so much.

Good God I set down everything and caught my breath. But it made me rage all the more, and once the pain subsided I got my revenge and killed the boss.

My muscles, especially in my legs, feel absolutely amazing now though!

In sum: please wear pants, or maybe a shirt, or a protective ball cup, when playing Ring Fit Adventure.

Thank you.