Alright, I’ll be honest. Your chance of success is as close to zero as a nonzero rational number can get, but there is a way you can get him back.

First, let’s take a trip to the African savannah, one of few places on Earth where practically everything is trying to kill you at all times. It is only the most cunning animals, not necessarily the strongest, that survive; therefore, you must employ a cunning strategy if you hope to ever interact with him again.

Let’s start by analyzing the environment. The man has what appears to be an ASUS ROG gaming monitor with GSYNC and a Razer Kraken Pro V2 headset. He’s no lightweight and not the sort of “casual gamer” that is easily swayed by sexual favors, vacations, or any of the other amateur hour parlor tricks. No, you’re going to have to step your game up for this one, but since he’s gaming I know that he’s probably human and therein lies his weakness.

I see that to the left of the monitor is a cream soda can. Aside from being extremely delicious, the most important factor is that this can is open. You see, humans are mostly water and require a substantial amount of it to be replenished each day and don’t survive long without it. Now the open can will most surely become an empty open can in the near future. Now it is a simple war of attrition. Once depleted he will, out of necessity, pursue additional refreshment and then like a crocodile who latches it’s jaws around a wildebeest at a watering hole, you strike.

Hurry into the administrator profile settings and change his password (Note: You’ll need to know his current password, but that’s another comment for another thread). Once you’ve changed the password, lock or shut down the PC and you will assume total control of all access to his computer.

If this fails, lighting the place on fire usually works.