The site had a comment section where kids from all over the world could leave their letters of love and prayers to Jesus Christ, as well as their wishes

I couldn’t let this opportunity pass; so I began to reply to these letters as if I were Christ myself, so that the kids could read them

In order to do that, I created an account on said website, named myself Jesus Christ, and started replying to the letters in the comment section. Here are a few:

Letter 1:
“I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH BECAUSE YOU CREATED EVERYONE AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND ALSO FOR GOD AND YOUR LOVED ONES AND FOR YOUR FAMILY” – Alex, 6yo

My reply:
“Hi Alex. Thank you so much for your good wishes, i’ll make sure they reach my whole family. Except for my father, God, whom I’ve always hated for being a tyrannical son of a bitch who never bought me good presents. How have you been?”
– Jesus

Letter 2:
“Hello Jesus i wanted to say hello to you and thank you for my perents and sisters that you gave me because they make me so happy. I love you so much jesus” – Vivian, 10yo

My reply:
“Parents is written with an A, moron”
– Jesus

Letter 3:
“Hello jesus i am glad to always have you by my side to protect me and keep me away from all evil, and i wanted to ask you to take care of my mother and sister because i love them” – Diego, 11yo

My reply:
“Who says that I protect you?”
– Jesus

Letter 4:
“You are very good the bad thing is that not everyone believes in you and that you are the salvation of this world so becouse of that theres a lot of evil out there in the world. thank you jesus for loving us who believe in you fill my house of blesings and good things” -Katherine, 8yo

My reply:
“Don’t worry Katherine, I will personally send those people to hell so that they get fried in boiling oil for eternity while the demons torture and dismember their family members in front of their eyes”
– Jesus

Letter 5:
“I love you a lot ,each night i pray for you and all the children in the world that dont have anything to eat that makes me sad. Please help them and give then peace so that everyone livs happy and send then blessings so they become good people” – Michael, 8yo

My reply:
“Shut up, Michael”
– Jesus

Letter 6:
“Jesus i wanted to ask you to send your blessings to everyone in the world, specially for those that suffer hunger and that are sick. And please bless my parents and my family, thank you for being in my heart” – Amanda, 11yo

My reply:
“Amanda, my blessings are not for free. I’ll send you an e-mail with my PayPal info attached, so that you can send a small commission. When I get the money, ill bless your family. Take care and make sure to read the bible (except for the writings of Martin Luther, don’t listen to that retard)”
– Jesus

Letter 7:
“HELLO I AM MELODY. I WANT TO ASK YOU TO NEVER LEAVE ME. I AM HAPPY THAT YOU WER BORN TO HELP US ALL AND LOVE US THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO” – Melody, 7yo

My reply:
“I can already tell that you will be a nuisance when you grow up. I bless you Melody, and may God have mercy on your future boyfriends”
– Jesus

Letter 8:
“JESUS YOU ARE GOOD WITH US BUT WHAT.ABOUT THE POOR POEPLE. WE EAT TERKEY ON THANKS GIVING AND THEY DONT.ITS VERY COLD ON CHRISTMAS AND THEY DONT HAVE ANYWERE TO LIVE” -Lucy, 6yo

My reply:
“Thank you for your letter, Lucy. Is that all you want to say? Because you have no idea how much I enjoy reading hate messages like yours. All you do is criticize, but you don’t propose any solutions to the world’s problems. See you never…”
– Jesus

Letter 9:
“dear jesus, i want everykid in the world to have food in their plate and i want everyone to get good presents on crhistmas” – Jordan, 9yo

My reply:
“Food and presents for all children in the world? No problem. Tell your daddy that all the receipts will be by his front door tomorrow morning”

Letter 10:
“Hello Mr. Jesus. My little brother and I wanted to give you our thanks for all the help you give the people of the world. We are happy to have you present in our lives at all times, and also thank you for helping those in need” – Mike, 8yo

My reply:
“Listen here Mike, if I were to find out that you got help from your parents to write this letter, I will be VERY angry. My divine wrath will fall upon your household as the great Abaddon swallows your neighborhood”
– Jesus

Letter 11:
“Dear Jesus Christ, how have you been? Can you take care of all the kids in the world because there are a lot of them who are sick? And there are others who dont have clothes, can you give them money to buy clothes? Can you help the children that suffer of cancer because i want to help them” – Oscar, 10yo

My reply:
“No”
– Jesus