Sometimes I add ranch to Chinese food, I’ve been banned from 8 Chinese takeouts in the tristate area and my parents refuse to let me join family gathering until I “stop chugging ranch dressing like a malformed sauce goblin”. I tell them I can stop at any time, but deep down, I know I cannot. The call of the ranch is too strong and I crave the sauce to fill a deep primordial void in my soul. I have been claimed by the cowboys of the salad dressing. Pray you do not thread the path I do less you are also kidnapped by the Cowboys of the Sauce.Yeehaw partners ;_;