My child is not going to grow up to be some CUCK who gets ASS-RAMMED in PUGs and stuck in ELO HELL. My boy (my kid isn’t going to be political) is going to be surviving MW2 lobbies by the time he’s 5 or he’s OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

No Nintendo or PS BS either. He will be a pure PC gamer. He will build the machine himself, by hand, and install the liquid cooling system and custom RBG lighting without ANY HELP.

Each day, he will get up and dust and polish his collector’s edition of The Witcher 3, which will only be removed from its case when he goes to show and tell and shows the LOSER Fortnite kids in his class what a REAL game looks like.

I promise to post my parenting progress to Reddit so you can see me raise a good gamer son. Updoots to the left!