I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. A few weeks ago we talked about “spicing things up” in the bedroom. My boyfriend likes to do weird jokes sometimes, which I usually love. This time though what he did was walk into the bedroom naked with a bottle of Secret Aardvark hot sauce without the lid.

He says “I’m ready to SPICE things up,” and winked at me. I was like “What are you doing?” And he said something like “It’s about to get HOT in here,” and winked again. Then he started chugging the hot sauce.

I was astonished by this. Is it normal for a boyfriend to chug hot sauce before making love with his girlfriend? I started yelling “What are you doing!!”

I could tell right away he knew he had made a mistake but he kept chugging for a few seconds before coughing, dropping the bottle, and stumbling into the bed. He made a gurgling sound then a noise like a demented hyena. Tears were streaming down his face which was bright red. He vomited all of the hot sauce all over the bed and blanked.

I was stunned. I tried to comfort him even though I was so confused as to why he had done this, but he just tumbled off the bed and crawled into the bathroom. He yelled “don’t come in here!” several times. I heard the shower turn on and him throw up several more times. I googled and found milk can help so I opened the door a crack and slid a milk carton in there.

He slept in the bathroom and when I knocked in the morning he told me “needed time”. He didn’t come out of the bathroom until 1:00 PM and he acted like nothing happened. When I wanted to talk about it he just said “Let’s just forget it.” So I tried to.

But ever since then he has refused to make love and has made no sexual moves towards me at all. It has been weeks. When I bring it up and ask why he never wants to become sexual, he just says “he forgot” about doing sex and that we “can get to it later.” I ask him if it is about the hot sauce and he clams up and mumbles something about “never happened” and walks away.

I tried to tell him I don’t care about that incident but he won’t talk about it at all.

What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop feeling shame about throwing up his hot sauce and allow him to become sexual again?

TL;DR – My boyfriend chugged hot sauce and vomited it onto the bed and now is too shamed to engage in physical love.