(cw for a lot of the fuckin r-slur on this one, lmao)

 Before I start this off, I just want to make it clear that I still deeply respect Nintendo. SMM2 is a fantastic game, and I’ll be enjoying for years. With that being said, on to the rant.

Nintendo, I think SMM2 is an amazing game, and I am certain this title will be one of your best. The game has so many tools, more than twice the amount of elements compared to the original. That fact alone really makes it stand out the most, and I’m really happy for that. But although this game is fantastic, it also has a ton of major flaws, most of which are beyond baffling. As much as I love you Nintendo, these decisions you’re making are just utterly stupid. So much so that they are just highly frustrating to deal with. Where does this show you may ask? The new 3D World game style.

First of all, restricting certain elements to the 3D World style is nonsense. COMPLETE nonsense. Nintendo, why in god’s name would you cut so many items in the other four styles from 3D World?? The whole point of of the first game was to mix and match the elements between styles, which defined the game itself! Now you’re taking that aspect away?? There is NO excuse for this at all. Hell, you’ve been able to create the sprites for the angry sun in all of the original four styles, so why in the fucking hell do you not have the very spine to create a fifth sprite for 3D World?! I get you’re trying make things exclusive to make the theme more “unique”, but that reason is simply the most retarded bullshit I’ve ever heard. In fact, can you even CALL it a reason at all? All 3D World does is make the game a whole lot worse. You’ve even exluded tracks, which were also present in the ORIGINAL 3D World! This exclusion alone will severely limit the potential in the 3D World style, so much so that the 3D World style itself is objectively the worst style in the entire game! Worse, changing between the styles literally erases your entire course to a blank template. That doesn’t make any fucking sense! Exclusivity is the most retarded aspect of this entire game, especially when it comes to a style that wastes a fucking slot!

Speaking of exclusivity, let me tell you something even more baffling than exclusivity itself. What am I talking about you may ask? The Fire bros and the porcupuffers, both of which for some PATHETIC REASON ARE EXCLUSIVE TO 3D WORLD!! Nintendo, what the fuck were you thinking when you decided to place two very iconic enemies only in 3D World?! They originated from two games before 3D World, both of which are already existing as two of the four main styles. You even have the 2D sprites for both of them already, yet you don’t even have the effort to make good fucking use of them! Hell, you gave porcupuffers certain behaviors that weren’t even PRESENT in the original 3D World! So you’re saying you had the goddamn effort to add new attack patterns and animations for the porcupuffers, but don’t even have the fucking spine to implement such a simple element like Fire bros?! Nintendo, you have NO FUCKING RIGHT whatsoever to make such a bullshit decision! This decision you’ve made is beyond baffling. So much so that no one can even SPECULATE the cause of this poorly made choice! No one will tolerate your stupid moves in any way. Hell, no one’s going to even enjoy the 3D World style AT ALL because of this.

You know what else is fucking retarded? The ommision of story mode elements. Why? WHO IN YOUR FUCKING OFFICE THOUGHT THIS BULLSHIT DECISION WAS A GREAT IDEA, HUH?! Your so called “carefully crafted” levels are downright horseshit in every single way. You said it yourself Nintendo, story mode was supposed to be a great way to inspire others to make their own levels. Well how is anyone going to get inspiration from your mediocre levels if they don’t even HAVE the elements to make those inspirations a fucking reality?! Once again, there is no excuse for you to exclude anything from this game. Even if you do have an excuse, I bet it’s retarded, just like your entire office is!

You see it now, don’t you? All of these words, these very truthful words about your actions, just demonstrate how fucking stupid your decisions can get. No one cares how you think Nintendo, because you don’t even have the fucking brain cells to think at all! No one in the community is going to tolerate the behavior of a pathetic swine like you, and neither will I!

Listen Nintendo, you useless brat, you worthless scum, you fucking waste of air. Why the fuck do we deserve to be treated like garbage?? What did we do to deserve any of this?! We’ve been so caring, so supporting, and so loving to you and your games, yet you decide to repay us by giving us this bullshit in return?! We’re not trash, Nintendo. We’re not helpless dolls that you can play around with whenever you fucking please. But do you want to know the one who IS garbage? I’ll tell you who’s garbage. YOU. You are the one who’s garbage. No, not just some plain old garbage. You are a heap of MEAT SACKS. Meat sacks that need to be thrown away, and to be burned in the very pits of hell! You are being lazy in every single way and you know it! You were lazy when you decided to exclude Fire bros from the very style they originated from. You were fucking wrong to exclude tracks from 3D World. In fact, you were a fucking retard when you decided to exclude everything USEFUL from 3D World! You are being fucking lazy, just admit it! It’d make the whole world feel alot better for fuck sakes!

Let me ask you this Nintendo, Is this what you do? Is this how you treat your entire fanbase?? Do you slam your hollow skulls into your keyboards?? What kind of idiot are you?! What kind of SWINE ARE YOU??!! WHAT KIND OF WHORE ARE YOU??!! YEAH, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE!! IT’S A GODDAMN FACT NINTENDO, DON’T FUCKING DENY IT! NO ONE CARES FOR YOUR SHITTY MOVES! YOU HEAR ME???!! NO!! FUCKING!! ONE!! AND THAT’S NOT ALL, HOHOHOHO. THAT IS NOT ALL!! YOU THINK YOU’RE SO SMART, HUH?? YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, EH?? WELL LOOK AROUND YOU BITCH!! LOOK AT THIS ENTIRE FANBASE OR YOURS!! DO THEY SEEM TO BE SMILING WITH JOY?? NO!! THEY’RE DOING THE FUCKING OPPOSITE!! AND THE OPPOSITE OF SMILING IS FROWNING, YOU SEE??? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?? BECAUSE YOU’RE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF FUCKING TRASH!! A HEAP OF TRASH THAT MUST BE BURNED TO A FUCKING CRISP!! HEH, THAT ACTUALLY WAS KINDA FUNNY WHEN I SAID THAT. HAHAHA. HAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL NINTENDO?? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE LAUGHED AT, YOU A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT??!! ARE YOU FEELING GUILTY NOW??!! YEAH, FEEL THE GUILT COURSING THROUGH YOUR WEAK LITTLE VEINS!!! FEEL IT!! FEEL IT YOU WRETCHED SWINE!!! OH, YOU’RE MAKING DESPERATE EXCUSES NOW, HUH??! WELL NOBODY CARES ANYMORE!!! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! CRAWL INTO YOUR TINY LITTLE CAVES WHERE YOU INSECTS REALLY BELONG!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT NINTENDO!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A WHORE!!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS!!! THIS!! IS!! WHAT!! FUCKING!! HAPPENS!!!!!

Know this you fucking whore, you are spineless hogs. You will ALWAYS be spineless hogs in every way. No one is going to ever forgive a worthless brat like you for your fucking decisions! Apologize any way you want, but you’ll NEVER be forgiven by anyone from this very fanbase.