# Day 32: Today I cried

Today i cried for the first time in years. I had managed to stop some incredibly powerful urges, but it left me completely drained. I turned to this sub and the book Your Brain on Porn, hoping to find a bit of solace and hope, but instead I realized just how much my sexual taste was warped and corrupted by porn. I remembered the things I used to get off to just a month ago and broke down in tears. I felt like I had the first moment of clarity in a very long time, I saw how disturbing and vile the porn I used to enjoy was, yet this time I did not kick myself while I was down. I felt true compassion for myself, seeing myself as a victim of a horrible addiction. Finally i found the hope I was looking for, the hope that I, and everyone who ever felt the same, can be cured and free, and that tiny bit of hope was hidden in a tear I finally had the awareness and courage to shed.