Alright LISTEN, I have a HUGE theory that might corrupt space and time but here goes….. I think that Mickey Mouse owns a strip club. Okay, okay, alright alright, I know what you are thinking: “Mickey Mouse, owning a…a….STRIP CLUB!?!?!? That makes no sense!” hahahaha, well guess what? **YOU ARE WRONG!** You are all wrong! He *does* own a strip club! And I have evidence! Okay, lets start at the beginning, shall we?

Now I think we ALL know the epic educational show that goes by the name of “Mickey Mouse’s Club House”. Kids know it. Adults know it. Heck, even *boomers* know it! And we all know one thing about this series: it’s educational. That’s right. You heard me. It’s educational. So why in the world would human beings with brains insert a STRIP CLUB in a kid’s cartoon? Well….they did. And this is how they snuck it in: It all starts with the intro. In the intro, we see Micky Mouse walking all alone in the middle of nowhere. How sad. But then he notices *you,* ***the viewer,*** and then he says: “Hello, everybody! It’s me, Mickey Mouse!”. Notice, just notice how he specifically states that there is more than one person viewing the program, and this could be 69% accurate depending on your Friend Zone status. Now, notice how happy he is. He is so usually happy during that moment….. that’s kinda sus. People like that normally exit out of a strip club, and Mickey Mouse does sound usually high, he must’ve had a few ounces of weed from the hypothetical strip club, but this could also be a tactic in him hiding his internal depression from the public, which might as well could be the case. Mickey IS all alone in that scene, anyways, moving on. Next he asks a question, which is “Do you want to go inside my” wait for it…. “**club house?**”. Boom. There you go. He said it. He CLEARLY stated that he wants YOU, the viewer, to go into his……strip club. What makes this even MORE disturbing is that this is an interactive kid’s show, and he could very well be asking this question to a ch-

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