100 ways to kill baby from malnourishment
1. Do not feed him for 3 weeks
2. Bash his head in
3. Lace his ketamine with fentanyl
4. Shoot him in the head
5. Shoot him in the stomach 4 times
6. Drown him
7. Get him infected with coronavirus
8. Heat him up to 60 celsius for 1 week
9. Make him listen to K Pop on repeat until he dies
10. Cut his arm off and wait for blood loss to kill him
11. Rip his spine through his head
12. Sign a petition to get Ice age baby killed
13. Suck all the blood out of his body through a needle
14. Surgically remove all the bones in his body
15. Lobotomise him
16. Make him drink 6 liters of water an hour
17. Make him smoke 500kg of weed
18. Lace his breast milk with 200 apple seeds
19. Convince his mom to leave him for you
20. Get him infected with the plague
21. Put him in a car and run it off a cliff
22. Tell him he is ugly
23. Fit a 27 inch monitor down his throat
24. Make him drink 120 cups of coffee
25. Fit 20 VESDA Sensepoint XCL – Micro Bore Aspirating Gas Detectors in his skull
26. Axe this mf
27. Bully him till he dies
28. Put glass shards in his brain
29. Remove his frontal lobe with surgery
30. Shove acorns in every breathing route he has
31. Global warm his ass
32. Machine gun him
33. Create zombies and get them to kill him
34. Make a deal with Kim to assassinate him
35. Sledgehammer him
36. Sled over him
37. Get Lizzo to sit on him
38. Stab him
39. Make him eat pure black tar heroin
40. Bring roadmen to get him
41. Bash his head with a Logitech G502
42. Build the mexican wall over him
43. Throw a Nokia 3310 at him
44. Deprive him from water for 3 days
45. Make him eat a XBox controller then deny him medical help
46. Make him take a toaster bath
47. Run him over with a car
48. Burn him
49. Feed him to sharks
50. Make him eat toxic waste
51. Turn him into ravioli
52. C4 him
53. Hit him very hard with a towel
54. Frame him for a bank heist and get him in a shootout with the police
55. Give him a used needle from a HIV patient for his ketamine injections
56. Force feed him 500 cookies
57. Put him into a woodchipper
58. Pop his arteries
59. Send him to a warzone
60. Put a firework in his mouth
61. Nuke him
62. Electrify him with a that was easy button
63. Cannonball him
64. Tell him he is adopted
65. Euthanize him
66. Throw him under the bus
67. Throw 100 fidget spinners at him
68. Put cyanide in his pizza
69. Cock and Ball torture
70. Make him drink H2O2
71. Pay a gang of 15 yr olds to get him
72. Sit on him
73. Suffocate him with a pillow
74. Drop a 10 pound dumbell on his stupid ass
75. Suffocate him with toilet paper
76. Jab him with 553 needles of salt water
77. Feed him polar bear liver
78. Put a flashlight in his brain
79. Hit him on the head with a table
80. Feed him to penguins
81. Tell Sid from ice age to murder him
82. Make him die
83. Honestly if you’re reading this wtf
84. Make him drink methanol
85. Take away his life support
86. Send him to gulag
87. Iron his lungs off
88. Suffocate him with toilet paper
89. Turn light mode on on his reddit account
90. Frame him with 25 kilos of imported fentanyl
91. Run him over with a tractor
92. Squish him between two icebergs
93. Create a time travel machine and put him aboard the titanic
94. Plant explosives in his backpack and blow it
95. Hit him over the head with a baseball bat
96. Lock him in a car and drive it over a cliff
97. Lock him in a suitcase and throw it in the water
98. Attach him to the wing of a plane prior to takeoff
99. Make him fight an alligator blindfolded
100. Post a wholesome 100 keanu big chungus epic meme to cringe him to death