Fuck February. There, I said it. Do you know how long it took me to type that? Well, let me tell you. I had to pull twelve all-nighters, rent out a library, read 59 dictionaries, and research the origins of the month February to make sure I had it spelt correctly. This month is simply too dumbly spelt. It’s like the Wednesday of Months. It is too ambitiously designed, and, takes longer to learn to spell than its entire month duration lasts. Anyone who tells you that they figured out how to spell February from memory without aging 6 years is straight up pissing lies on you. The phoneme structure, the entire composition, and tastes, is completely ridiculous. Imagine where society would be if it was spelt as, “Febery”. We’d be pulling 6 G’s in flying cars right now, solving world hunger, and preforming quantum tunneling on graphics cards. But no. We live in the reality where some dipshit decided he was going to stunt humanity’s progress far worse than the Black Death did by assimilating together the most barbarically conceived month name imaginable.