You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. Don´t you know that you are pathetic? As they say in Texas, I bet you couldn´t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed in the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans.

You´re a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back: You´re a festering pustle on a weasel´s rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature, and a heavy metal bag-pipe player. You were not born, you were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn´t crawl out of an normal egg, either, but rather an mutant maggot egg, rejected by an evil mad scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then literally died in shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting word. I´m sorry, you were not born out of a human; you were vomited into this world ny puke-drooling giggling beasts that abandoned you when they saw what they had “created”. They were a bit late though 🙁

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight, the evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be availble to the readers, but they will be able to access it much more rapidly. If clulessness were crude oil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou.

You are a tick-headed throg. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromomes short of a full human. Worse than that: You top-post. God created houseflies, coachroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards, and made you. I take it back: God didn´t made you. You are Satan´s spawn, you are evil beyond comprehension, half-living in a slough of despair, you are the entropy wich will claim us all! You are a green-nostriled, cross-eyed, hairy-livered, inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.

Even coackroaches won´t breed with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.12 world. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup dosen´t validate. You have a couple of adressing lines shorted together, you should be promoted to engineering manager.

Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you ten years ago. Do you fantasize that your tiny-fisted tantrums and conniption fits could really be worth of the $0.000000001 worth of eletricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T and your future doesn´t look really promising either, we need to trace your bloodline and terminate all your siblings and cousings in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news, is that no no normal human being would ever mate with you, so we don´t need to go into the sewers in search of your git. You might belooking for arguments in this deserved storm of insult that I´m directing at you, but stupidity doesn´t deserve argumetns.

You are a waste of flesh, you have no rythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, you drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and you strike Pentacostals silent. Your mother had to tie a porkchop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You think that the “Dark Web” is the website of a Black Metal band. You prefer Jimmy ScreamerClauz to Steven Spielberg and Walt Disney. You can´t catch the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke. You would watch Where The Dead Go To Die all the day if the other inmates would let you. You must´ve been born in a highway, because that´s where most accidents happen.

On a good day… you´re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are decifient in all that leads character. You have the personality of a wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone Sex Operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasentness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on the convulsing nausea of your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillianmous Galactophage and you wear your sister´s training bra. Don´t bother opening the door when you leave – you should be able to slime you way out undearneath. I hope that when you walk home a car runs out of nowhere and runs you over!

You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craved dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gormless crook-pasted tosser. You cockered bum-bayley poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxbomb. You puerile one-handed jack-drooling meatslapper. You dread bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flipper-gril. You jetere sterotypogous rhadamantine lintlicker. You are the leftover of an abortion. You mother should have swallowed you. You fucking useless piece of shit, may your spouse (if you ever get one and I highly doubt that) be blessed with a thousand miscarriages!

You are so clueless, that if you dressed in clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue mating dance in the middle of a field of horny clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not get a clue. If you were a movie, you would be a double feature: Birdemic III and The Room II , and you would be more out of focus than the originals.

You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are a Brazillian Vídeo Brinquedo rip-off that dreams of becoming as great as the original film, YOU WON´T MAKE IT. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world that became unbereable when you crawled out of an harpy´s womb.

It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium. Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannot be possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang. A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature. I must apologize. I can’t go on. This is my epiphany of stupid. After this experience, you may not hear from me for a while. I don’t think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic, is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well … it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective… Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are “challenged” persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn’t have been “right.” Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S: You are: Hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, pinguid, and Generally Not Good.

I hope this helps…

TL;DR: You are a bad person, and you should feel bad. Have a nice day. Edit: Also, you are so poor, that you can´t buy food, so you just feed your girlfriend her miscarriages instead.

Also if you want to use it against me: no u