I hope that every morning when you wake up, you step in a puddle of water and have to go change your socks. And at work, I hope they don’t have coffee in stock and you have to go through your entire shift with a raging headache. And when you get home, I hope your dinner is overcooked and tastes bland. And when you go to bed, I hope your pillow is too warm. And at night, I hope you wake up from a dream where you fall, over, and over, and over again. And then I hope you get out of bed and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth, and you accidentally knock over your toothbrush, so you have to go get another toothbrush. And when you start brushing your teeth, I hope the toothpaste runs out, and you have to go get more toothpaste. And then I hope your toothbrush falls into the sink and gets lost in the drain, so you have to go buy a new toothbrush. And when you finally go back to bed, I hope you have to roll over every 2 minutes because you’re too uncomfortable. And when you finally fall asleep, I hope you wake up from a nightmare, screaming and sweating. And then I hope you have to go on your period and you have to buy new underwear because you got your period on your best underwear and you have to clean your sheets. And when you go to work, I hope that you’re late and all of your co-workers know it, so they start making fun of you and saying that you’re the worst employee there is. And when you get home, I hope your dinner is overcooked and tastes bland, and you have to go back to the grocery store to get different food. And when you’re done eating I hope you have to wash all the dishes and you’re too tired to do it so you go to bed and then you remember you still have to wash them so you have to go wash them and you stub your toe doing it and then you bump your arm into the cabinet while your hand is wet. And then you go back to bed and you can’t fall asleep because your pillow is too hot so you go check your email and you have tons of spam and you have to go read every single one of them, making you spend hours reading bullshit about earning free money, and when you realize it, it’s already 6 am and you need to go to work with no sleep.