So a few years ago we got given this beautiful bowl which lives on our dining room table, and habitually I would come home from work and just…put shit in it. Keys, wallet etc. It became known as the shitbowl – to me at least.

Then, last year during our first COVID lockdown, the dining room table became our working from home station and I started putting even more shit in the shitbowl – pens, highlighters, my calculator. That didn’t go down well and I was told in no uncertain terms that the shitbowl was not, in fact, a bowl for my shit.

This got me wondering about other people’s shitbowls. I googled ‘shitbowl’ and the results were not pretty. Literal bowls of actual shit. Probably should have seen that coming.

But what I discovered was an intriguing opportunity. In this great wide world of fetishists and toilet humourists, nobody had registered the domain name [shitbowl.com](https://shitbowl.com). So I did.

And I wrote about our shitbowl. I detailed the philosophy behind the shitbowl lifestyle and the simple elegance of its physical caching methodology. Then I sent it out into the world. Other than my partner, I haven’t really told anyone about this, just watched in amusement as my shitbowl has spread.

My shitbowl has now been viewed by hundreds of thousands of people around the world. It is literally the first thing that comes up now when you google ‘shitbowl’. [It’s been endorsed by the billionaire CEO of a giant tech company.](https://twitter.com/tobi/status/1360743886738579468?lang=en)

And despite all this, I’m *still* not allowed to put shit in that fucking bowl. You can never win, man.