Hello there Red, White, and Beautiful!

Are you tired of weak beta males that drink soy lattés? Soy is for pussies. And I’m here to grab yours.

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot and ready in the morning.

Every time I get an erection a bald eagle cries out in American pride and the flags fly a little harder.

I don’t negotiate with terrorists or toddlers.

I’m a free American and I want to know if you’re free tonight.