This happened a week ago, but the awkwardness is still as strong as ever.

Stress has always gotten to me pretty easily, but the last few weeks or so have really been something else. Aside from major examinations coming up, pressure to do well from my family and a severe lack of sleep (some times less than 5 hours a night), my wisdom teeth were also getting removed in a few days, which I was extremely anxious about. All together, I was having a pretty bad time coping with it all, so, being the horny teenager I am, I often find solace in my penis and its best buddy, my right arm.

So, upon returning after getting my teeth removed in what seemed like a dream, I lay down in my living room with my family, watching TV. I dozed off a couple of times, and was generally quite disoriented. Being both high off anaesthetics and tired is not a good combination, and after waking feeling drowsier than ever, the upcoming exams dawned on me once again (especially since I had done next to no study at the time).

Not really caring to face the problems that troubled me, I decided to reunite the dynamic duo (that being my right arm and my beloved penis) and forget about it all.

And so off I went. Except I forgot one thing.

I was still in the living room, in full view of my entire family.

Somehow, my gassed up, tired brain managed to convince me that I was not in fact sitting with my family by our TV, but was instead comfortably laying in bed, in my own room.

I don’t really understand how or why it happened. A few seconds in and I began to notice the puzzled eyes that curiously seemed to be looking right at me, with expressions that transitioned from shock at my brazen meat smashing, to anger and outrage, accompanied with intense giggling.

I snapped out of it of course, realising the insanity of my actions, and beheld the pure, unfiltered embarrassment I put myself in.

I’m not going to talk about what happened next, as I don’t want to relive the next few moments.

My father is just disappointed. He hasn’t talked to me much recently, and the long awkward silences on the drives home are not too pleasant.

My mother believes that we should “embrace my sexuality”, and is potentially setting up a group therapy session as I write this.

And I’m just studying my ass off, poring through books, it’s a good excuse to be alone. I find myself hoping that none of it really happened, that maybe I was just dreaming while I was gassed up.

But it did happen, and boy does my life suck right now.