I had a bad day

My girlfriend of 73 years broke up with me with a picture of her in bed with an alien. I was heartbroken, but then I got a phone call and was informed both of my parents died simultaneously from terminal 7 inward-ass explosion disease. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, I spilled baked beans all over myself watching Cars 2 in theaters and a black guy shouted “this nigga eatin’ beans” and everyone laughed.

Really can’t take this shit anymore man