I literally bought a two foot length of thick rubber hose for about $3 at the hardware store. The express purpose of which was to hit someone with it. With her complete, enthusiastic, and fully-informed consent, that is. I can confirm, it hit hard and left some hefty bruises on the butt. In this case that meant happy squeals and some very appreciated physical reminders. You want to try swinging that with full force at someone with the intent to cause actual harm? That’s going to be seriously brutal. The name is well-earned for a reason.