I sexually identify as a Marching Band Nerd. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of marching a show. People tell me that being a Marching Band Nerd is impossible and that I’m a loser but I don’t care, those guys are orchdorks. I’m having a plastic surgeon attach a pair of Dinkles to me and then I can March a show. From now on everyone should respect my right to be a Marching Band Nerd and my right to march; protecting my right of marching. If you can’t accept me you are a bandaphobe and should check your privilege, you cis straight white male scum. For those who do accept me as a Marching Band Nerd, thanks for understanding.