Chris has been appearing in my dreams for the past week. My OCD has burned Chris-Chan into my subconscious so deeply that I can’t even escape him in the place I feel the safest —my dreams. Chris has poisoned every aspect of my being, I ruminate about him every day to the point where I dissociate. People in discord servers I’m in constantly talk about him (I have no clue why) and refer to him by feminine pronouns. They yell at me whenever I chime in, referring to Chris as a ‘he’ and call me Transphobic. I’m not saying anything mean about him, I just talk about how I am interested in the lore, I don’t hate Chris, I don’t hate anyone for that matter. I’ve gotten slightly overweight from being too stressed to exercise (I cannot put pressure on both my mind and body) I’m having trouble enrolling in school due to heightened anxiety, and I can’t get a job due to my current mental state. Every time I look in the mirror, I see Chris staring back at me, reminding me of where I’m headed in life. As a new day rolls around I see myself becoming Chris more and more. I am afraid, I am afraid for both myself, my family, and friends. I don’t want to have to deal with being like Chris and my friends and loved ones certainly don’t either. I just can’t take it anymore. I need to leave this subreddit and check myself into a mental facility to scrub this demon from my mind permanently.

I’m sorry; Goodbye