Spiritual life SUMMARY and
WHY I LEFT RADHE KUNJ ASHRAM AND REJECTED VASANTA PRABHU’S DIKSHA-MANTRAS

In 2014 August I came to know about bhakti-yoga from Iskcon devotees who were preaching and cooking in Masters of Calm festival, Lithuania.

2014 Autumn: I visited bhakti program with Vasanta prabhu for the first time.

2015 Winter: I received my new name “Sanatana das” from Vasanta pr. and he told that my Guru is Sri BV Narayana Maharaja. (at that time he did not give me japa-mala nor he asked me to repeat maha-mantra after him)

Later on I asked Vasanta pr. again how to understand this initiation and he confirmed that actually Sri Narayana Maharaja is my guru and that only for the sake of external maryada it can be said that he is my guru, that is the order he received from Premananda prabhu.

Many times Vasanta prabhu mentioned in his classes about Sachi Dulal das Babaji from whom he received siksha. He also told me, that Premananda pr. himself was visiting this babaji and he sent Vasanta pr. There to also take siksha from him.

2016 Summer: I went to Radhe Kunj Bhaktabandhav ashram in Vrindavan.

2016 Winter: Premananda pr. instructed me to become a pujari. I asked him from whom should I get diksha-mantras and he instructed to go and ask Vasanta pr. to give me diksha initiation.

I came to a room where Vasanta pr. was staying and he chanted diksha mantras to me as he was himself chanting. They sounded quite complicated so I didn’t memorize them then and there. He again confirmed that he is not my guru.

Then there was a yagya in Radhe Kunj ashram. Yagya was conducted by Giridhari prabhu. Vasanta pr. gave his first diksha initiations to me and Mohan Shyam prabhu (who had already received diksha and brahman-thread from the Indian Nemi Maharaja, disciple of Srila Bhaktivedanta Vamana Gosvami Maharaj, who initiated many devotees on behalf of Premananda prabhu.)

After yagya we all went nearby Premananda pr. and he instructed that if anybody asks who is our guru, we should say Srila Narayana Maharaja.

On the same day Vasanta pr. went back to Lithuania and did not give me any paper with diksha-mantras. So I sent him a message asking what the mantras are. He told me to go and ask Krishna-karunya prabhu. When I told him, he was a little bit confused with my request and with the fact that Vasanta prabhu gave me diksha. So he sent me to Premananda pr. again. Then Premananda pr. told that I should go and ask Giridhari prabhu or Krishna-karunya prabhu to write me those mantras. I came back to Krishna-karunya prabhu and he finally wrote the diksha-mantras on a paper. I went to Giridhari prabhu and asked him to check if they were correct. And finally I went to Premananda pr. to check again, but he refused. He said that “whatever Krishna-karunya prabhu writes is correct”. So I started chanting those diksha-mantras.

After some time I came across the brahma-gayatri mantra on the internet and realized that actually one word of this mantra was missing in my paper.

2017: One of my friend, Anandini didi received diksha from Vasanta pr. When she came to Radhe Kunj, she got an opportunity to go to a darshan with Premananda pr. where he was explaining the meaning of diksha-mantras. After that she told me that there was some differences between the mantras she received from Vasanta pr. and the ones that Premananda pr. explained. That being: slight difference in guru-mantra and significant difference in gaura-mantra. When she contacted Vasanta pr., he explained to her that Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura and Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura were chanting differently, that’s why it is like this. She became pacified and did not make any research about it.

On the other hand, I became interested in this fact and I wanted to how exactly should I chant my mantras. When I got opportunity to speak again with Vasanta pr., he told me that he received many mantras from Sachi Dulal das Babaji. He told that Premananda pr. sent him to receive siksha from this babaji. When I asked why he is not chanting gaura-mantra exactly as Srila Narayana Maharaja instructed him, then he gave me a quite strange answer. He said – “I asked this babaji how do bengalis chant gaura-mantra, because Gauranga Mahaprabhu is a bengali, so I wanted to chant in this way”. Also I came to know that he received guru-mantra, gaura-mantra, gaura-gayatri, nityananda-mantra, advaita-mantra, gadadhara-mantra, gaura-gadadhara-mantra, srivasa-mantra, radha-mantra and radha-gayatri (these for sure, but maybe more) from Sachi Dulal das Babaji.

So in a short time I asked him to tell me how exactly is he chanting. Then he modified the gaura-mantra in my papers and also he gave me radha-mantra and radha-gayatri.

2018: In Radhe Kunj temple we received Deities of Panca-tattva, so I asked Premananda pr. what kind of mantras should I chant during arcan. He told that Vasanta pr. has many mantras and that I can get them from him. I called Vasanta pr. and he told me nityananda-mantra, advaita-mantra, gadadhara-mantra and srivasa-mantra.

I wanted to know more about Sachi Dulal das Babaji and therefore I asked Vasanta pr. about him. He only answered that this babaji is his eternal family, maha-bhagavata Vaishnava, and that Premananda Prabhu himself sent him there.

Having desire to hear some more about him I came nearby Premananda pr. and asked him this question in private. To my surprise, he openly told me that this babaji is actually a sahajiya and that Vasanta pr. did “upeksha, neglect” to Srila Narayana Maharaja by going to this babaji.

I was quite shocked and then I told him that I cannot continue chanting these mantras and I want to chant diksha-mantras exactly as they were given by Srila Narayana Maharaja. Premananda pr. started to speak quite strange things like: “mantras are perfect by themselves, doesn’t matter who is giving them”, “you can just read mantras from books and you will be a disciple of Srila Narayana Maharaja” and so on. I was not satisfied with such suggestions. So then he also suggested me to take mantras again from Giridhari pr. or Krishna-karunya pr. I have also told Vasanta pr. that I do not want to continue chanting my mantras which were given to him by this babaji (but I did not tell him the reason why, because Premananda pr. told me not to tell him about it). Vasanta pr. became very angry at me for this.

Finally after a long discussion with Premananda pr. and Vasanta pr., I received instruction from Premananda pr. to humbly ask Vasanta pr. not to reject me and give me gaura-mantra as he received from Srila Narayana Maharaja. Then Vasanta pr. sent me a WhatsApp audio message with gaura-mantra. He also instructed me not to chant radha-mantra and radha-gayatri anymore, and also never ask him anymore questions about anything. He also told that I should not interfere with the fact that he is still going to continue giving these mantras to his followers.

2019: I started to investigate information about Sachi Dulal das Babaji. I came to know that he was following gauranga-nagari-vada which was strongly opposed by Srila Narayana Maharaja and guru-varga. Once again I asked Premananda pr. about this babaji and he again confirmed that he is a sahajiya, and he also told a lot of information about babaji’s sons etc. (audio recorded is available here – https://soundcloud.com/user-396495595-795800514/premananda-prabhu-about-sachi-dulal-das-babaji-2019-05-20/s-BoqwW).

I was quite shocked by the fact that Premananda pr. knew about Vasanta prabhu’s relation with a sahajiya babaji, but yet he encouraged Vasanta pr. to give initiations and I was directly instructed by Premananda pr. to receive diksha initiation from Vasanta pr. And plus the fact that Vasanta himself told me that Premananda sent him to this Babaji.

After considering all these facts for one more month, I have decided to give up chanting all diksha-mantras and to leave Radhe Kunj temple, as well as the guidance of Premananda pr. and Vasanta pr. I have lost all faith in them. Their actions seem to be very disrespectful to the aspirant disciples, and this is also disrespectful to Srila Narayana Maharaj and guru-varga.