What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Russians in Ukraine, and I have over 300 confirmed gas tank refills.

I am trained in pumping gasoline and diesel and I’m the top jerrycan filer in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another truck. I will wipe your windshield with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of gas stations across the USA and your vehicle is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that overfills the pathetic little thing you call your gas tank. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fill your gas tank in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in jerrycan use, but I have access to the entirety of the United States Marine Corps gas pumps and I will use it to its full extent to fill your miserable tank so you can drive off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over your vehicle and you will drown in gasoline.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.