True story: When I was 5 or 6 year old cat, I spent about an hour telling the neighbor’s bag of chocolate about all the other bags of chocolate that I had met. And of course I made up a few super-bags because it seemed to actually be listening, which blew my mind.

In the end, I admitted that I was lying about the super-bags, and without missing a beat, it jumped into my mouth and I died.

I’m a ghost.