I just shoved a whole stick of (salted) butter up my asshole and now it’s currently melting inside me. Will report back with results when it’s fully melted.

OK so I was able to get most of it in the bowl. Here’s how I’II describe the experience. It feels great going in, then quickly becomes unpleasant. Once it fully melts, it becomes unmanageable as it will literally leak out of you. I wrote the OP laying on my back and as soon as I sat up I realized I was in trouble.

Some of the butter got on my mattress.

I tried to take it to the kitchen but that wasn’t happening. The bathroom was closer. I got most of it into the bowl but it sort of exploded out of me so now there’s butter everywhere in the bathroom. l wasn’t expecting it to BURN LIKE HELL COMING OUT. MY ASSHOLE IS ON FIRE IT FUCKING HURTS. Probably because of the salt. I’m on the verge of crying, this could absoluteIy become a form of torture. Also I think the butter in its melted state tricks your body into thinking you have diarrhea because it sent me into horrible contractions and now I’m spewing diarrhea like crazy. I think I triggered something.

The butter is really oily. Upside: the inside of my ass feeis super soft. Downside: it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of the oily feeling. I’m going to have to take a shower, I can keep wiping and wiping and wiping and still see melted butter on the paper towels.