After another hour long argument with his girlfriend, matpat retreats back to his closet to write his pain away. The pain of being stuck with the opposite sex. “Why else would I be in the closet?” He chuckles to himself. They both know she only stays with him for the money and live-streams. It helps promote her cam shows. Matt writes his final theory on Five Nights at Freddies… for the ninth time. This time it’s about how each animatronic is a metaphor for the four horsemen of the apocalypse (even though there’s like ten of them). He finishes this 20 page script. 8 of the pages are of him making terrible puns to cover up the shame of being sponsered. But, there is no shame to be honest. Matt saves a folder of all the sponsership e-mails he gets, and furiously masturbates to them. After he cums into he bottle, he comes out of the closet, ignoring his girlfriend being fucked by Austin he screams out something incoherent and curses. Matt has a semblence of joy knowing Austin has shouted his orgasm lines, and has taken pleasure in his girlfriend’s vagina. More so than he can. Matt opens the basement door; foot of a ferret, Ron, and Guyjin Goomba all hiss at the light, only being used to the lights of their screens. Matt throws down the bottle of his patented TheoryGoo™. It keeps them barely functioning. He walks back to the bedroom. “Hmm, honey w-w-we need to do an-no-nother st-stream t-to promote my new theory,” he stumbles. The live-stream is as cringey as always. The viewer isn’t sure, but they see Stephanie looking off-screen making kissy faces to some unknown party. This of course is Austin watching Matt making a fool of himself live. He makes fun if Matt with his girlfriend. Matt tries his hardest to ignore this. After the stream Stephanie and Austin leave the house. Matt doesn’t know where they go. He doesn’t care. All he cares about is the skype call he has with Nintendo™ for a new sponsorship. He goes back into the closet, the only place where he feels safe anymore. During the call he jerks off under the laptop. However, the Nintendo™ marketers figure out what he’s doing and cut contact with him. This devastates MatPat, his world inside the closet is spinning, flashes of his channel not having sponsored videos scares him to the bone. He thinks about having to make actual original content again. He can’t handle all this. It’s too much. He writes his last theory on why him and Kurt Cobain are the same person. He puts his game theory brand shotgun to his head, and pulls the trigger… It’s three days before Stephanie cares enough to check on MatPat, she finds his body in the closet. It doesn’t bother her. She calls the police, just to get his body out of her house. But it didn’t end there, a doctor who’s 12 year old daughter was a fan of MatPat’s demanded that he bring him back to life. The doctor fixed his head, then got Susan Wojak to perform the dark arts to return Matt’s soul to him. MatPat came back to his house. Stephanie is more annoyed than shocked at his return. Matt goes back to making more videos, but without his sponsers they are forced to sell the TheoryGoo™ to the fans. But when a 14 year old (or his entire fan base) bought it, and it was found out to be his semen they were put in jail. MatPat started a new channel called “PrisonTheory™.” His first theory was on how Bowser was responsible for his incarceration all along… BUT THAT’S JUST A THEORY, A PRISON THEORY. THANKS FOR WATCHING.