You ever just die? just cease to exist? Or maybe reincarnate into an entirely different being with different DNA, cells, ect? Do you spontaneously cease to have a soul? Or maybe you or a family member is anti-vax and you’re having a midlife crisis are the age of three?

 Have you tried /not/ dying on a regular basis, and it’s not working? Have you also tried /living/ and it’s not working for you?

 If you answered at /all/ to /any/ of these questions, this doesn’t apply to you! congrats!

 Now, if you’re currently hurling through dimensions, (or dead) DIE-AWAY is for you! Die-Away is a product that repels death! Spray merely once in your mouth every two hours, and you won’t die! All tragedies, misfortunes, mishaps, flying trains, and even causes of natural death are repelled for two hours!

 Oh? you want to know how you don’t die? How we miraculously cheat death time and time again? We have a secret ingredient! Here it is;

 Ç̷̛͕̭̹̏̋̊̂̒̈y̸̗̔̆̀̒͆̄͜͝a̷̛̲̥̿̓̾̒n̷̡̘̝̱̙̩̙͈̦̣͓͋͌̀̊̾i̵̡͙̺̓̊̇̈̓ḍ̸̛̘̠̻̰͕̓̒́̂͂̒̚͠ẹ̷̟̭͖͙̩̙͔̼̮̭̙͛͆̈́̀̍͛̔̃̓͆̏̀́͝ͅ\~!

 Our motto?: Because you can’t die twice!