In the world of educational video games, only a handful of games have broken through the

glass ceiling and earned their place among the stars by achieving mainstream success

and worldwide acclaim, including such classics as Alpha Beam With Ernie and The History Channel:

Civil War – A Nation Divided.

But one game stands above the rest as a speed runner’s nightmare and a masochist’s wet

dream.

Can You Beat Elmo’s Letter Adventure Without Killing Anyone?

After we get through the game logos and other nonsense we’re greeted with this, Elmo trying

his hardest to get away from a large yellow bird.

Of course, with legs like that, I don’t think Elmo has much of a chance of escaping

the wrath of Big Bird.

And that face, yikes.

That would have given me nightmares as a kid if I wasn’t already preoccupied with my

nightmares about the Muppets coming out of the drain in the bathroom and dragging me

down the drain to hell.

Anyway, the first big decision is what difficulty to play on.

I’m hard, and I’m playing on hard.

Now we’re on Sesame Street.

I could hear horns honking and voices in the distance, so I tried to run into the street

in hopes of getting hit by a car.

Didn’t work.

Then I thought, maybe I can wobble this pole enough that it’ll come loose and smash Elmo’s

skull.

Again, no.

My last hope was that I could strangle Elmo with the balloon strings.

But they’re embedded in the cement, and they’re Big Bird’s balloons, so they aren’t

going anywhere.

I got a face full of the large yellow bird’s crotch, I blacked out, and when I woke up

I was at Big Bird’s farm.

He obviously drugged me, which is why I I’m seeing all these lower case letters.

I avoided them and progressed through the corn maze until I reached a dead end.

I’m Big Bird’s prisoner, and I’m not going anywhere.

Then I blacked out again.

This time Bird glued me to a pogo-stick and did his best Night King impression.

I must have broken the game by not picking up the letters, because it appears that the

game is in some sort of soft lock.

But I can assure you that Big Bird is not soft.

I restarted the game, could not avoid the gaze of Big Bird, talked to Grover, and went

into fucking space.

I was given this go-cart and did a bunch of sweet tricks.

My mission was to collect the letter “G”.

I assumed that “G” stood for “God” because Grover is the only God in this crater.

I collected a few G’s, got to the end of the level, and was in intergalactic space

with unfathomable technology.

I tried to fly into the sun to be cooked alive, but it didn’t work.

The upside is that this is a true open-world experience.

You can go anywhere and do anything.

Rockstar could learn a thing or two from Elmo’s Letter Adventure.

I collected the required amount of G’s, I’d tell you how many that is but I haven’t

played Elmo’s Number Journey yet so I’m not qualified to speak on such matters, and

went back to Grover’s crater from which there is no escape, where I collected the

last G’s needed to beat the level.

Next came the real challenge, figuring out which letter was missing to spell the word

“fish”.

After a few minute of heated internal debating, I got it down to 2 letters: “N” and “F”.

I trusted my gut and went with “N”, which was wrong.

I picked “F” and was onto the next chall-

**HOLY FUCK SHIT IT’S A FORK!**

I am sorry, I’m not sure what came over me.

Anyway, you spell “fork” with an “F” so I chose the “F” and was onto the last

round.

The last word is a tough one.

Spell the word “goat”.

I was still a little lightheaded after the fork, and I thought that fury thing was a

boat.

Then I thought it wanted me to spell “zoat”, which was weird because I didn’t expect

to see a Warhammer 40k reference in an Elmo game.

I took a shot in the dark and picked the letter “G”.

I got lucky and got it right, and proved to all the peasants on Sesame Street that I really

am the GOAT.

At my coronation ceremony, Big Bird looked distraught, like he wasn’t expecting all

those cameras to be there so he had to put his chloroform and zip-ties back in his van.

I know what you’re thinking, I technically beat the game, but we still haven’t beaten

Ernie.

I talked to him, he took me down into his liquid abyss, then t-posed from the safety

of his submarine as my oxygen levels slowly depleted.

While the game was in a soft lock, I have a feeling Ernesto was as stiff as a board.

So, despite my best efforts to ruin my own idea, you can beat Elmo’s Letter Adventure

Without Killing Anyone.

If you enjoyed the video or if your favorite letters are “j”, “g”, “f” or “t”,

leave a Like.

Leave a Dislike if you didn’t enjoy the video or already knew your ABCs.

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My name is Paul of Mitten Squad.

Have a wonderful day.