I What did you say little man? I’ll have you know I’m a 7’3″, 25 year old African male who’s had experience with several military positions. I’ll have you know that when I was younger, on Afghanistan I was employed as a suicide bomber, one day American troops attacked me, and I went to them, bombs strapped on, igniter in hand. The igniter didn’t work so I was forced to take an American man’s gun straight from his hand, and proceeded to gun him and his 80 man squadron up with only one magazine. After doing this I became the hero of my village, and up until I was thirteen I was praised as such. At age thirteen, my mother was diagnosed with Ebola, and in order for me to get enough money for proper treatment id have to go to America. After hijacking a boat to America using my bare fists, I proceeded to pilot the boat through the stormy waters flawlessly, my 6’5″ 13 year old body taking full effect from the sea. Once reaching America I proceeded to prove myself to the US Army, getting listed in the Air Force at only age 14. I had proceeded to go on several black ops missions, once killing an entire 100 troop battalion with a 5 round sniper mag. After proving myself throughout the Air Force, I had earned a bit of a reputation. Later I was enlisted in the US special forces, primarily focusing on all tidings of combat, having the skills to beat Masters of war. And keep in mind that at this time I was only 15. After defending mister obama from 9/11, I had proceeded to go even further down the ranking, enlisting in the CIA and FBI, as major generals. I proceeded to grow further, assassinating the president of Afghanistan for a mission, using all of my newfound money to visit my mother. Upon arriving to see my mother, I had managed to find out that she was actually secretly a drug cartel who had amassed a large sum of money, and was preparing to slay her own son.I proceeded to enter a fist fight with my own mother, the fight ending once I put her in a choke hold and crushed her skull in between my thighs. At this time I was 25, the same age I am now. After this my mother has not contacted me, and I’m now the highest ranking in the US Army. And the final part of this story, is to finally drive this message through your thick skull. “Don’t fuck with me” Because if you do, I will send the entire US army on you, including the Navy, Air Force, and ISIS. Your life will be over in an instant bucko, and unless you stop talking shit, I won’t hesitate to unleash my wrath upon you. I can end you and everyone you care about’s life in an instant, and if you don’t stop I will.