Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly fuck up the entire backstory to Star Wars? And while my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of the gas station, the unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequels is that they’ll be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone. If someone under the age of, like, 20 says that his least favorite film is The Empire Strikes Back because it was the most boringest one, then I suggest you shut this review off right now before I carefully explain how much of a fucking idiot you are. So where do I possibly start? Nothing in the Phantom Menace makes any sense at all. Comes off like a script written by an 8 year old. Like George Lucas finish the script in one draft, like turned it in, and they decided to go with it, without anyone saying that it made no sense at all or was a stupid, incoherent mess. At this point who’s gonna question George, who tell him what to do. He controls every aspect of the movie. Probably got rid of those people that questioned him creativity a long time ago. I also think that everyone just assumed that a Star Wars prequel would be an instant hit regardless of what the plot was. Really, how hard would it be to screw it up? It’s like screwing up mashed potatoes. YOU BOIL THE WATER, POUR THE PACKET-