*Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R) Ohio, 17th district, presents the Ocular Penetration Act of 2007*

Thank you madam speaker. I rise today to inroduce the Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007: mandating a 5 year prison term for the offense of ocular penetration, commonly known as “skullfucking.”


I don’t have to quote statistics for you. We’ve all heard it on the news.

Every single day another grandmother is skullfucked in front of her apartment building by streer thugs while her neighbors do nothing. Another small town shop owner blind after being skullfucked by two gang members simultaneously. Another once-promising honor roll student who could no longer remember fractions after human ejaculate has damaged his brain.


Now we’ve all heard the excuses.

“Skullfucking is a problem but we just don’t have the resources to stop it.”

“Police and prosecutors are already busy enough without having to investigate whenever a misguided youth rips out a lady’s eyeball and has intercourse with the empty socket.”


Well I for one, am sick with excuses.

I’m sick of skullfucking!


The Ocular Penetration Restriction act has three primary components aimed at reducing levels of skullfucking across the nation.

Number one) Mandatory prison sentences for convicted skullfuckers.

Number two) Increased police presence in high-risk skullfuck areas.

Number three) Community oriented faith-based programs to stop our children from skullfucking before they get started.


With this three-pronged approach, we will be treating the skullfucking epidemic on all fronts.


The Ocular Penetration Restriction Act will send a clear message to all those engaged in skullfucking.


You. Will face. Repercussions.


We will no longer stand by as criminals deface our parks, our city streets, our very communities by repeatedly thrusting their penises into the eye cavities of innocent Americans or their lifeless corpses and then fucking them over and over and over again.


This legislation will stop these crimes before they start.

As the saying goes, “Nobody is born a skullfucker.”

I can only hope for the day when nobody becomes a skullfucker.

In closing, let me say this.

If we do not open our eyes to reality soon, they will get fucked right out of our heads.