I (M65) have a girlfriend (F1) who lives with her parents (M31, who I will refer to as Entitled Parent, or EP for short) and (F33.) I had gotten horny and decided to leave my basement to go see F1. Her parents always left at 7:30 and her baby sitter (F16, who I will refer to as Entitled Babysitter, or EB for short) had taken 5 minutes to arrive after her parents left. I, (M65) had snuck through the window of my mother’s basement (I hate that whore, F95) seconds after they left, and went into the basement of her house where she had been forcefully kept in her cradle by EP and F33, and had sex with her. She never said no, and thus it meant she gave full consent. I always found her kinky crying hot, which she, F1 did because it’s our fetish. She always did that as soon as I walked in. Suddenly, I had a TIFU moment. EB had walked in. She had said that “raping babies is illegal” and that “children can’t consent” so rationally, I slapped her in the face in self defense. Now I am in prison for pedophilia and assault. I tried to explain to the judge that F1 is in severe trauma because they had taken away her adult lover (M65) and that EB was assaulting me with words. EP and F33 are trying to sue me, because they don’t want her already mature daughter, F1 to have a not creepy and consenting adult lover. God, they’re so entitled.

AITA?