If I ever heard someone break into my home I would run around my house grab 5 knives, portable bluetooth speakers, my phone and tape then run into the bathroom. Then I would turn on the shower and get myself wet. Then I would tape the speakers onto my body tape a knife to my forehead like some kinda of unicorn and then start playing ocean man on all speakers on max volume. Then I would kick the door down and start screaming “I’M GONNA TAKE YA TO THE LAND WHICH ONLY I UNDERSTAND” while holding the other 4 knives like a lobster’s claw.