Jonathan, I repeat Jonathan. O dearest biological father, for what might you require my presence at this time? Have you been, in secrecy, consuming the sweet crystalline substance known as sugar, whilst being fully aware that this action is in fact prohibited? Father, my one and only male parental figure, you are under the pretense that I have committed such a devious crime as to steal and ingest particles of glucose, however, this is a duplicitous and untruthful thought to have. Jonathan, dare you attempt to constitute these falsities and present them to your own male predecessor? Have you no degradation as you so overtly confer these deceptable remarks? You have displeased me so. I command that you confess to me your communication of misinformation. My dearest antecedent, you continue to indiscriminately follow these preposterous claims, which only further infuriates me. At your own benefit, you should no longer persist this outrageous investigation, as the result shall be not only unsatisfactory but utterly humiliating. Your resistance, my youthful offspring, you have forced me to take immediate action in response to your insincere pleas, and you are now obliged to present your oral cavity before me so that I may effectively refute your heinous argument, as this action shall reveal the falsity in your claims. Alas, my intransigence has only resulted in my failure, although despite my blatant defeat, I find this ongoing dispute quite amusing. For this, I shall create sounds proceeding from the vocal chords that indicate amusement, much to your dismay.