Moderator: The next segment is about Muad’dib. There has been a lot of backlash against Muad’dib’s reign especially in regards to the abandonment of traditional Fremen values and the ecological change of Arrakis, some going as far as to curse Muad’dib and the Atreides. My question to you, Mr. President and Vice President Joe Biden, is what do you have to say about these accusations and Muad’dib’s reign?

Donald Trump: Muad’dib was a phenomenal man, respected by all. Top, top academic and philosopher. Good in every way. He got rid of those crooked Corinnos and the hefty Harkonnens. Let me tell you, the way that Shaddam and the Landsraad and the beast Rabban were running things was disastrous for Arrakis. Muad’dib was the one who changed all that. He brought us immaculate water, green plants. No other emperor has done that. Good in every way. And I would say that almost everything I see about Muad’dib’s reign being a failure is coming from the radical desert fremen, not from the majority of the imperium. And these Fremen living in the deep desert are a dangerous group of people. They catch you on your own, they steal your water. If they had it their way there would be no water or plants on this planet. Muad’dib was the one who brought the water back. No emperor history did more for Arrakis and the imperium than Muad’dib, and that’s despite the witches in the Bene Gesserrit, despite the spacing guild hoax, despite all of that, when he had to fight on all sides, he was still able to do that. Arrakis now is the greatest it’s ever been. A paradise in the making, I’ve heard many say.

Moderator: Well, Mr. President, do you believe Muad’dib’s reign led to the abandonment of traditional Fremen ways?

Donald Trump: Muad’dib was the most Fremen man there was. Can you name someone more Fremen than him? More Fremen than these radical, dangerous desert Fremen that are stealing people’s water. They hate this planet, and all they want is the destruction of this great planet.

Moderator: Alright, sir. Vice President Biden, how do you feel about these remarks being made about Muad’dib?

Joe Biden: Well, we have to deal with the…look, I, uh, the people of Arrakis have a right to say these things about Muad’dib. Under Muad’dib, their lives were fundamentally changed. What’s at stake here, is the moral suicide of all men. The people are too afraid to face the reality. And I have nothing…I’m not opposed to Muad’dib. I think he’s a very fine person, but if the people do not understand his message, then they cannot revere him. Now, I am totally against defunding the, uh, the Fedaykin, but the reason that certain people have been cursing Maud’dib is because of the atrocities committed in his name. Sixty billion dead in twelve years.

Donald Trump: There aren’t sixty billion people dead. That number is totally wrong. I don’t know where you got that number. And by the way, the Harkonnens, their number would be much, much higher. And it would all be Fremen. Believe me, before Muad’dib came, the Fremen had been conditioned in failure. So much injustice and chaos. There was no hope for the Fremen. Even Liet-Kynes could not promise the Fremen quick change. Forty generations, Liet-Kynes said. Muad’dib changed all that! Under Muad’dib the Fremen became stronger, more powerful. The Fremen people can now believe in accomplishment. And by the way, under the old Fremen ways, there was tremendous hatred. You look at the Fremen stealing water, look what happened at Jacurutu, look what – Frankly, it was more violent than what I”m even seeing now – but the reason, is the crooked Corrinos and the planetary governors that ran this planet didn’t want to talk about law and order. Are you in favor of law and order, Joe?

Moderator: Sorry Mr. President, but we are moving on to the next segment now.